Showing posts with label finances. Show all posts
Showing posts with label finances. Show all posts

Saturday, April 2, 2016

Budgeting for Baby: Estimate vs. First Year Actual Costs

When expecting your first kiddo, it's REAAALLLLLLLY easy to get caught up in the whirl of wanting to shop for your future baby.  I mean--look at all that cutie-patootie stuff!  Have you SEEN those itsy bitsy baby socks...and the tee-tiny SHOES???? And did you know that when you register at places like Babies 'R Us and Target, they give you FREE STUFF????  Seriously--you get the magical gun to go shoot things and add them to your registry, AND a bag full of goodies for baby.  It's easy to get caught up in the feev-ahh...

Because I am a giant nerd who loves spreadsheets, back before we had the baby The Hubs & I decided to make a budget to estimate what we anticipated first year costs would be (i.e. pregnancy plus the first 3-4 months).  We used various internet resources and discussions with parent friends to come up with our costs.

And because I'm an even BIGGER nerd, I kept track of ACTUAL costs spent, the things that were gifted to us, etc. so that we could compare the two after the fact.

1) Medical Expenses:   Estimate: $1,000  Actual: $3,000
I managed to forget that when a baby is born, he then has his OWN deductible that has to be met, once you add him to your policy.  The Hubs & I have separate insurance (cheaper that way in our case), and we added the baby to my policy because it has a lower monthly cost, offset by a higher deductible (I have an HSA plan).  So while yes, that original $1000 covered all of my medical bills, I didn't account for the baby's portion of the hospital bills and initial office visits. 

FUN FACT YOUR DOC DOESN'T TELL YOU:  It's fairly typical to take your baby into the pediatrician about 48 hours after you're discharged from the hospital, and then a week later.  These are primarily weight checks to make sure they're gaining weight appropriately, since most babies lose a few pounds right after birth.  One would think that since these are "fairly standard" that they're included in your baby's Wellness Visits (which are 100% covered under insurance).  But they're not.  Our hospital/pediatrician coded them as "feeding issues" which makes them a normal office visit.  So if your plan has a co-pay, you may have to pay for these follow up visits.  For my HSA plan, co-pays don't kick in until you've met your deductible, so we were out of pocket about $400 for those two office visits, and Lil' Man's portion of our hospital stay was about $1600 (which includes his circumcision).  Seeing "room and board" listed on a bill for a newborn's hospital stay is pretty laughable.  Apparently those little clear rolling plastic bins they put the baby in are REALLY expensive.
"Welcome to my 'room'.  Please don't touch the mini-bar."

P.S. - I should note that the Medical Costs shown above doesn't include any of the costs from when we were still trying to get preggo--only what we incurred after I peed on a stick and it came up positive.  It took us a little under 2 years to get that positive pee test: before that, we spent somewhere in the $1500-2000 range on prenatal vitamins, ovulation test strips, pregnancy tests, a couple doctor visits once my regular doc referred us to a specialist, infertility testing for both me & the Hubs (both showed we were A-OK for baby-making), and 3 rounds of Clomid.  

2) Birthing Classes:  Estimate/Actual: $85
This one I knew ahead of time, so our estimate was on the nose.  The classes were pretty useful--though it would have been nice if they offered snacks more often.  My husband went to the Daddy Boot Camp class and the instructor provided them with pizza & wings!  Helloooo--how about the preggo wives? Sheesh.

3) Prenatal Vitamins/Supplements: Estimate: $100  Actual:  $50
CVS has prenatal gummies, and a 45 day supply is $9.99---however, they run BOGO sales every few weeks (so actual cost of $5 for a 45 day supply).  Also, Similac and Enfamil both sent me a few weeks' worth of free samples of their prenatal vitamins (not gummies--gross giant horse pills, but I didn't waste them.)  So I spent about $40 over the course of the year on vitamins.  I also bought some Fish Oil supplements after the baby arrived because they were recommended to help deal with the Baby Blues...and when he was about 3 months my hair started falling out, so I purchased some biotin to help with that.

4) Maternity/Nursing Clothes: Estimate: $250  Actual  $125
I got pretty lucky as far as maternity clothes go--the vast majority of my weight gain was all in my belly, so I was able to wear a lot of non-maternity clothes that I already owned (the ol' "hair tie to extend the jeans waistband" served me well up until about 6 months)--plus I was preggo during spring and summer, so I wore a ton of stretchy maxi skirts and tank tops.  I did have to purchase a couple new bras a size up from my normal, and I bought some gently used maternity wear (shorts, blouses, and a swimsuit) at a consignment sale.  A couple friends loaned me their maternity clothes as well, which was really sweet.  
27 weeks...I was able to get a lot of mileage out of this stretchy knit tank and maxi skirt combo, both of which I had in my closet pre-baby, and could wear all the way through my pregnancy.

Post-baby, I had to buy some nursing and sleep bras--Target has a pretty decent selection, and when I started my baby registry there, I received several 20% off coupons that I was able to use to reduce those costs.  There was also a pair of sandals I purchased last spring that ended up being what I wore 90% of the time, because once my feet started to swell the only things that fit were those sandals, flip-flops, and a pair of canvas loafers.  I also bought a few new tops for work that would make it easier for me to nurse/pump (shirts that buttoned in the front or were stretchy enough to pull down).

5) Skin Care: Estimate: $50  Actual: $14
My mom and sis-in-law gifted me a few bottles of cocoa butter lotion, so I never had to buy any regular lotion of my own.  However, I am NOTORIOUS for rushing through my grooming routine and not using lotion after I get out of the shower.  So I bought some of Nivea's in shower lotion (used a coupon), and LOVED it.  So easy to just include in my shower routine.  I like to think it helped too, since I didn't get any stretch marks until my last month. One bottle lasted me the whole pregnancy.  I also bought some Bio-Oil (again, with a coupon) for stretch marks, but haven't been super-diligent about using it.

6) Nursery Decor/Furniture: Estimate: $500 Actual $230
As mentioned before in my nursery prep posts, the end table, dresser, and shelving we put in our nursery were items we already had.  So the only big items we had to purchase for this room were the crib, a glider, and baby monitor.  My mother-in-law bought our crib as a baby gift, a friend gave us her crib mattress (since her daughter had transitioned to a big girl bed), and we used gift cards to purchase a video monitor on Amazon.  We found a gently used glider & footstool on Craigslist.  My mom bought all the bedding for the nursery (she found great deals at garage sales, including a set in our beach theme that contained curtains and two rugs).  So beyond that, we were left with small purchases like the diaper changing pad, drawer & closet organizers, photo frames and art decor for the walls, a toy net, bins for the shelving unit, and some cute table-top decor pieces.  We also had to buy a blackout curtain once Daylight Savings Time rolled around. :)

7) Baby Gear:  Estimate: $500  Actual: $425
When I was doing my estimates, I think this category was originally intended for the *big* baby gear, like carseats, strollers, high chair, pack 'n play, etc....but it eventually became a catch-all for everything that didn't fit somewhere else: safety latches and outlet covers, bath tub & bathing accouterments, car seat covers (sun/rain shade and a cold weather one), grooming set, thermometer, etc.  Ultimately, only about $115 of this was out of pocket cost to us--the rest was purchased with gift cards from the baby showers.  My mom's family all chipped in to buy our car seat and spare carseat base, which were the biggest ticket items in this category.  We went with the Graco 30LX Click Connect (the "LX" models are more lightweight than the regular, which is pretty important if you're already carrying 20-30 lbs of kid around), and I bought the Click Connect stroller base at a consignment sale for $35 (the infant carrier just snaps onto this and becomes your stroller--SO convenient).  
My parents bought us a Pack 'n Play, and we were also gifted a convertible carseat for once he outgrows the infant carrier (we'll still have to buy a second one since we have 2 vehicles).  
Things we purchased used at consignment sales: Bumbo, diaper bag, seat covers (to go under the carseat and protect our vehicles), baby bathtub (that converts into a step stool later--recommended by a friend), high chair, babyproofing kits, extra covers for changing pad and Boppy.  
Various "hand-me-down" items we were gifted from other parents/grandparents: reversible baby carrier, Moby wrap, Boppy, exersaucer, swing, bouncer, jumperoo.
"Psst...old man...you realize this belt strap isn't really necessary at this point, right?"

8) Toys: Estimate: $100 Actual: $50

About $12 of that was out of pocket, for an activity playmat, some books, and a few stuffed animals (all purchased from consignment sales or second-hand kid's stores).  The rest were purchased with gift cards.  We asked friends to use baby books instead of greeting cards at our showers, so little man almost has more books than I do at this point.  We saved most of the toys and wrapped some of them up as Christmas presents--not that he really cared at that point, but it seemed like we should get him SOMETHING for Christmas.  (He might get a few for Easter too--shh, it's a secret.) :)
"I don't know what it does...But it's my new favorite toy!"

9) Diapers & Wipes:  Estimate: $1,000  Actual: $235
As I write this, Lil' Man is about 5 months old, and we're just NOW getting into boxes of diapers that we bought, vs. what was gifted to us at showers.  We're still working our way through the wipes we received as gifts.  So that's $0 for the first year when you consider 9 months of pregnancy plus first 3-4 months of life.  
As far as costs for the first full year of babies' life:  We'll have to pay for 7 months' worth.  Right now, we have about a 5 month stockpile*, which we paid roughly $185 for.  I'd estimate we'll have to pay about $40-50 for the other 2 month's worth.

(*Presumes an average of 8 diapers/day.)

Our secret to diaper savings?  Stockpiling and Target, primarily.  Target runs sales on their Up & Up generic diapers (which we really like--very absorbent) periodically where they give you a free $20-30 gift card if you buy multiple boxes.  So the first time we did that, it cost us $58 for 344 diapers (17c/ea) & they gave us a $20 gift card.  Then the next time that deal came up, it was a $30 gift card if you bought 2 boxes...so we used the $20 gift card from the first purchase and ended up paying $47 for 444 diapers (11c/ea).  Then we'll use that $30 gift card the next time, once our stockpile starts to dwindle, and it should be around 9c each.

We also recently caught a couponing trifecta on Luvs-- Dollar General had the 92 ct boxes on sale for $14 (normally $15.97 at Wal-Mart).  We price matched, used a 75c coupon, AND Ibotta was offering a $5 rebate.  So we got 184 diapers for $16.50 (9c/ea).

If your baby has a sensitive bum or if the generic brands don't fit well, you may not luck out like we did, and have to buy the pricier brand name stuff. [Note: Target does that gift card offer on the brand-name diapers sometimes too--it's not quite as good a deal but still a very good price & easy way to save.]   These are just our tips for what worked for us.  We've had good luck with the Luvs as far as catching his #1, but I've heard from friends that had girls saying the Luvs leaked for them a lot.  He has had some blowouts with the Luvs, but not with the Up&Up's [yet].


10) Baby Clothes Estimate: $500  Actual: $60
The Bump website estimated $1000 for the first year of baby clothes. I made the assumption they were talking about buying new, so I estimated about half that, since I planned to mostly buy gently used--after all, we're talking about clothes that will likely only get worn a few times before he outgrows them.

I had 3-4 friends who handed down baby clothes to us.  Also, my mom is the garage-sale queen and would bring us a bag of clothes every time she came to help with the baby for the first 2 months. I had to buy a few Newborn onesies, and then a couple long-sleeved 0-3 month onesies (so we could go a full week before having to do laundry), but otherwise our kiddo had more than enough clothes from 0-9 months.  There are outfits he never even got a chance to wear--he was given over 30 pairs of 3-6 month pants alone.  

It's totally cool to go buy a few cute outfits (a vital part of the new mom rite of passage), but honestly, if you know a few moms, and have a mom and/or mom-in-law, you will likely be inundated with clothes.  People LOVE to buy baby clothes.  A lot of the clothes I've purchased are for 12+ months, since most of the things we were gifted were the smaller sizes.  If you can catch the $20 sign up bonus that ThredUp runs periodically, that's a great way to get 3-4 things for just the cost of shipping (most baby clothes are about $5-6 on there).

Paid $6 total for all you see here.  I still can't quite wrap my head around the fact that my son will fit in these someday.

11) Child Care - Estimate: $10,400  Actual: $7,545 (estimate for 2016)
Technically, if we're talking first "year" with pregnancy and then first 3 months of life, there was no child card cost, since I took 12 weeks of maternity leave.  I started back to work right after New Year's.
My first month back to work, I worked from home 2 days a week, so we only had part time day care.  Then we transitioned to full time.  My estimate was based off an average cost of $200/week (which is pretty typical in this area), but the day care he ended up at only charges $155/week.

Sidenote: Researching daycares was possibly the most stressful part of baby planning.  First off--waitlists are ridiculously long so you have to put your fetus on those lists when he/she/it is like, 8 weeks old.  Basically, it goes: "hey..I peed on this stick and got a positive result. Better tell my husband, our parents, confirm with a doctor...and then start getting on day care waitlists."  Some daycares provide formula/food.  Some don't.  Some provide diapers/wipes.  Some don't.  Some only take kids 2 years and older.  Some will take little ones, but only certain days of the week and only until a ridiculous time like 2:30pm.  Some have high security and require a retinal scan to get in the building [kidding] ...some just have an open door anyone can walk into.  Some have cameras so you can go to their website and check in on your kid.  Some have childcare providers that are allowed to text you pics of your kid.  Some have a policy that their childcare providers aren't allowed to have their phones in the room.  It all depends on what you're comfortable with and what you can afford....and where you can get in.

12) Food - Estimate: $750  Actual: ???
We'll have to circle back around on this one since we don't have a full first year's worth of data.  He's nursed since birth, and we only recently started introducing some formula as a stop-gap since he was depleting my stockpile.  His daycare provides formula (which we have them mix half & half with breast milk) and he still just nurses at home, plus we have about a few months' supply of free formula samples to go through once he stops nursing.  We introduced oatmeal cereal a few weeks ago ($1 with a coupon--haven't gone through the first full container yet), and I bought about 8 jars of different kinds of baby food to start trying in a few weeks ($6.50 with coupons & Ibotta rebates).  A friend gave us her Baby Bullet kit, so I'm looking forward to trying my hand at making a few baby foods as well.

Some parent friends with older kids handed down extra bottles, formula/snack containers, sippy cups, bibs, baby spoons, etc. so when he starts getting into that more, we'll have a cache of supplies on hand. There's also another consignment sale coming up soon so I have a list of things to keep an eye out for.

Things We Didn't Budget For:
Books For Dad ($8.50) - Several people handed down books to us (What to Expect, What to Eat When Expecting, BabyWise, etc.) but these are all really oriented to the mom.  I wanted The Hubs to have his own resources as well.  So we got a copy of "The Expectant Father", along with "Babyproofing Your Marriage" which we both read, since we know that introducing a kiddo can produce a lot of marital strife.  The latter was an OK read...it has some good points but I think it would have been better if written by male and female co-authors, rather than by 4 women.

Stuff for Nursing/Pumping ($165)When making the Feeding estimate, I didn't think about all the stuff that comes along with nursing, pumping and bottle feeding.  So that's the amount we spent on bottles, extra nipples, milk storage bags, Vitamin D drops (because human milk doesn't contain Vitamin D), nursing pads, lanolin, nursing covers, and pump part cleaning supplies.  Insurance covers pumps, so that's a big expense saver (unless your insurance only covers a manual or single electric pump, in which case you might want to spring for a nicer version if you plan on pumping much).

Postnatal Mom Care ($65) - Yeaahhhhh... pre-baby me definitely never thought about these things, but I had quite the medical arsenal in my bathroom in those gory first few weeks.  The amount shown includes a sitz bath, sitz bath concentrate, incontinence pads/underwear, Colace, hemorrhoid cream, Dermoplast spray, and witch hazel.  Most likely your hospital will send you home with a few things (spare pads/mesh underwear, an irrigation bottle) but you'll have to spring for the rest.


So what's the final damage?

So even with the extra $2k in medical expenses, we still came in under budget.  This is in LARGEHUGEGINORMOUS part thanks to amazing friends and family helping us out through gifts and showers.  We were truly blessed, and are looking forward to blessing others with everything we were gifted.  I've got a few friends with buns in the oven so I've already packed up my maternity gear and the clothes he's grown out of to pass along to them.  As he outgrows other things we will be happy to continue to share the wealth!  Babies be expensive, yo...so the more we can help someone save, the better.
"Allow me to play you the song of my people."

So that's it--our first year baby finances.  I'll try to remember to do a follow up post in October going through the baby's first full year of expenses!

To see the entire "Adventures in Parenting" series, click here.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Getting out of Debt: Part Deux.

So I got a few comments/emails on the last finance post which indicated that some follow up might be needed.  Primarily, it was pointed out that “sure, it’s easy for you to get out of debt:  you’re a two-good-income family with no kids.”  And while yes, that is true, as I mentioned in my last post, I had gotten rid of most of my debt before I got married.  And I had done it multiple times.  So I wanted to offer a “part deux” of tips that are helpful whether you’re single, married with kids, a college student, whatever.

1)  Bite the bullet & get a second job.  That was me, from age 22 to 26.  Three of those years I was also a college student (the latter year during my masters).  Yes, it sucks.  Yes, you will have no free time for fun.  Yes, you will get stressed because your second job will likely be something that might be considered “beneath” you.  For me, the second job was delivering pizzas.  Honestly, if you need a second job, this is the one I recommend if you have a somewhat reliable, non-gas-guzzling car.  I made minimum wage as my base hourly, but averaged about $15-20/hour with tips.  Granted—a lot of that goes back into your car for maintenance, but hey—extra money is extra money.  And pizza shops are open long hours, 7 days a week, which makes it easy for them to give you hours outside of your normal work schedule.  During my junior & senior year of college, I was working for the campus newspaper 25 hours a week, taking 12 hours of classes, and delivering pizzas about 30 hours a week.  After I graduated, I was working full time at a local TV station, and still doing pizza 30+ hours a week.  Was I exhausted all the time?  Yup.  But I was also throwing an extra $1500 at my debt every month, which to me made it all worth it.  (PS—you also get a lot of free pizza, which helps the grocery budget.)

Moi, rockin’ the PJ’s uniform, circa 2003.

Will you get frustrated?  Absolutely.  I can’t even count the number of times some customer treated me like garbage, to which I would smile, apologize, get back in my car, and then beat the crap out of my steering wheel while screaming, “I HAVE A BACHELOR’S DEGREE!!!!”  But, then I’d get a couple really nice customers, some good tips, and it would all even out.  You just have to keep your eye on the goal:  No. More. Debt.  And the harder you work, the less time you will have to do it.  Remember:  The second job is temporary.  You’re not going to be this stressed forever.  It is a means to an end—an end to your debt, which is the most overwhelming freedom I can think of.  It is 100% worth it.

2) If you’re married/have a partner, you MUST communicate about money & be on the same page.  Dave Ramsey says that every couple has one spender, and one saver—or, “one free spirit & one nerd”.  If you’re the one reading this, and you’re the one who’s motivated to get out of debt, you’re probably the nerd (no offense).  And these opposing views of finances are often what cause marital strife; did you know that approximately 45% of divorces are due to financial problems?  One person goes out & spends the dough, the other person gets mad, they fight, but nothing gets resolved. In fact, the spender probably goes out & buys something else to make themselves feel better.  Free-spirit spenders don’t like making budgets. It doesn’t sound like fun.  But you HAVE to find a way to get them on board BEFOREHAND, while making the budget, otherwise they will feel like the budget is being imposed on them—like it is something you’re doing TO them, rather than something you’re doing together.

Nagging WILL NOT WORK.  You need good, clean, open, honest conversation.  If you can, get a sitter (if you have kids), cook a nice meal for your spouse, share a drink, and then tell them that you’re excited about the idea of getting on a budget.  You’re scared about having debt for the rest of your life.  You’re nervous that you’re living beyond your means and that you don’t have enough savings to cover your butts if one of you were to lose your job.  Tell them your goals for the future, and ask them what their goals are—and then DISCUSS how being out of debt could make that happen sooner.  Did you never get to have a “real” honeymoon because money was too tight?  Talk about how once you’re debt free, you could finally take that trip.  Got kids?  Talk about how much more you could bless them by being able to travel, or help them with college, if you had no debt.  When you have no debt, you can do almost anything.  You can be charitable:  you could take money that used to go to the credit card companies and bless someone’s life with it.  We’ve all made a list of the things we would do if we won the lottery---try making a list of things you’d do if you had no debt and money in the bank.  It’s just as much fun to dream about—and it’s something you have far better odds of ACTUALLY DOING.

Let them know that you need their help to make this work.  Make sure they understand that they’re not the only one who will be making sacrifices (and make sure that’s true:  when it comes budget time, make sure you’re giving up things that you care about as well).  Don’t point fingers, because often even “the nerd” has bad spending habits.  (Example: “I know I’m causing us to spend too much on our cable package just because I wanted all those movie/sports/news channels.”  ‘Nerds’ also have a tendency to like having the faster internet package, or a better data package on their cell phone, etc.)  Also, find out if a Financial Peace course is being offered somewhere near you.  I just did a quick search and there are 15 of them in my area.  They’re often hosted by churches, so it’s a good neutral ground.

When it comes time to make the actual budget, do your best to make it fun.  This will be tough—because budgets aren’t fun.  BUT, you can use apps and online programs that create bright & colorful pie charts, which are almost fun…but you should probably get a bottle of wine or a 6-er of their favorite beer to share as well.  :D

3) Know the Basic Budget Ratios:  When you start building your budget, first, calculate your family’s average monthly net income.  Then multiply that by these percentages to see what the maximum amount you should be spending in any category is.  If you’re paying off debt, you should probably aim for the the minimums on most of these because that gives you the most amount of leftover $$ to throw at your debt—and because obviously—you can’t go with the “max” in every category, because that adds up to more than you make.  These are intended to be ranges.  If you’re single or a two-person family, you can easily go with the minimums on food & clothing, for example.

Category Minimum % Maximum %
Charity 10 15
Savings 5 10
House (mortgage, insurance, taxes, maintenance) 25 35
Utilities (lights, water, gas + tv, phone, web) 5 10
Food (groceries & dining out) 5 15
Auto (loan, insurance, gas, maintenance) 10 15
Clothing (plus makeup, hygiene, etc.) 2 7
Medical (including FSA/HSA) 5 10
Totals 67% 117%

And whatever you do, don’t cut out that first one.  I’m not gonna get preachy on you, but if you’re a church-goer, please tithe at least 10% of your net income.  If you’re not a church-goer, find a good charity that you care about and donate that same percentage there (I am personally a HUGE fan of the Modest Needs program).  Blessing others is part of having a healthy financial well-being.  Pastors love to say “God can do more with the 10% than you can with 100%”, and it’s true.  I started seeing infinitely more blessings (both financial & personal) come my way once I started tithing and giving.  Getting out of debt does you no good if you are selfish with the money you now have, and giving a percentage while you’re on your budget gets you into the habit of being financially charitable.  Because while you’re helping yourself, you’ll also see the difference you’re making in others’ lives, which will make you feel twice as good about your decision to get on a budget.

Also, you may want to build in a “miscellaneous” category in case of emergencies or variable expenses that change from month to month (like utilities, vehicle fuel, gifts). I’d recommend about 3-5% for this category.  Here’s a really great article on budgeting for non-fixed expenses.

Your budget should account for EVERY SINGLE DOLLAR of your income.  If you’re hourly and your paycheck fluctuates, look over your last 4-8 paystubs and calculate your average.  If you finish your budget and you have $52 left over, that needs to be assigned somewhere in the budget (probably to debt payoff).  Spend every dollar “On Paper, On Purpose” before the money even comes in.  This is how you take control of your finances instead of letting them control you.

4) Plan a reward (and fund it):  You know what’s a lot more fun than making a budget?  Planning a vacation!  Get together with your family (or by yourself if you’re single) and brainstorm ideas for what you would like to do together once you’ve paid off your last debt.  Maybe it’s finally going to the Grand Canyon, or taking a Disney Cruise, or simply a long weekend at the beach.  Maybe it’s a new HDTV, or a DIY kitchen remodel.  Or, if you’re a newly married couple w/no kids—maybe your reward is finally have kids (assuming you want them).  A friend of mine said she & her husband used that as their goal after they got married & combined their debts.

Then get together & plan it.  How much will it cost?  What hotel(s) would you like to stay at? How much will you need for meals/gas/airfare? Plan it all out on paper, and figure out roughly how much it will cost. (Add 5% to that for a good pad/inflation in case it takes a while to get to your goal.)  Once you have your budget, you should also be able to calculate out about how long it will take to pay off your debt. 

For the sake of example, let’s say you need about 1 year to pay off your debt, and your reward is going to cost about $1000.  Now get a jar: a nice big pickle jar, and let the kids help decorate it.  Name it whatever inspires your family: “Our Debt Free Trip!” or “Our New TV!”; something to that effect.  You then put (in this example) a $20 bill in that jar every week (make sure to account for that when you’re building your budget) until you’re out of debt.  If the kids want to help, let them throw in change or leftover allowance if they feel moved to do so.   Every so often, get together with the family and talk about the things you want to do on your vacation so that your goal stays fresh in everyone’s mind and keeps everyone motivated.  Let family members write down their suggestions for places to eat or fun things to do & drop those into the jar too.  Remind them that once you are out of debt, you will be free to do more things like this (providing you save up for them, of course).  Then, at the end of that year, if your debts are paid off, you should have at least $1040 in the jar for reward.

5) Sacrifices:  You’re going to have to trim the fat for a while until you get your spending & debt under control.  How much you trim depends on you, but remember—the more “luxuries” you cut out right now, the faster the debt goes away, and the sooner you can possibly start getting some of those back.  Do you need both a data plan for your phone AND internet at home?  Could you get rid of cable/satellite for a year and just watch shows on the internet?  Do you really need three cars in your garage---and is it logistically feasible to possibly go to ONE car for a year?  Instead of packing up your family of 4 & going to dinner and/or a movie every weekend, could you switch to once a month, and have family game nights the other weekends instead?   Can you survive the summer by opening the windows & using box fans instead of keeping the house at 69 degrees all the time, or use space heaters and extra blankets in the winter?  Could you maybe go to the salon every 8-10 weeks instead of once a month?  Can you do your own pedicure instead of paying someone $20-30?  Can you have a garage sale?  Maybe sell some items on Ebay?  Can the kids take a cut in allowance (say, go to $5 instead of $10/week) while you’re paying off debt?  Could you curb your bi-weekly shopping trips to once every other month until the debt is gone?  Can you switch to generics and clip coupons and do price matching to save on groceries?  These are just examples and they may not all be applicable to you.  But take a look around your house and look at the luxuries that can go.  It will sting.  But much like ripping off a Band-Aid, that stinging is temporary, because your DEBT PROBLEM should be temporary.  Once you conquer that, you can bring back some of those luxuries, within reason.  You don’t want to go into debt again.  And who knows?  You may find that your quality of life improves with some of those sacrifices.

6) Stay on Top of Your Budget:  Once you have the budget, you have to constantly check on it to make sure it’s working.  If you go with an all-cash system like Dave Ramsey’s “Envelope System”, this will probably be pretty easy—if you run out of cash in that envelope, you’ll know pretty quick that something’s gone awry.  But it shouldn’t get to that point.  Be aware of how much is left in each category.  I recommend checking in at least weekly.  If you’re doing an online budget tracking like Mint.Com, get together with your spouse/partner once a week and review where the money is going and how much is left.  That way, there are no surprises. 

7) OBEY THE BUDGET: If you know you have $40 left in your Clothing fund, then you get to the check out and you have $45 in purchases, don’t just say “ah well” and pay the extra.  PUT SOMETHING BACK, or you’re defeating the purpose of the budget.  If it continues to happen—say, you can never make it to the end of the month with your grocery budget, even though you’re clipping coupons and down to “beans & rice, rice & beans”, then your budget probably needs some adjusting. And that’s normal.  If this is your first time making a budget, you can’t expect to get it perfect.  But give priority to the “necessity” categories (utilities, food, roof over your head).  If those budgets are short even after making drastic cuts, cut from your “luxury” categories to move more money into the necessities.  Maybe it means turning off the internet completely for a while (you can go to the library or other spots with free wifi). Maybe it means your kids’ next round of school clothes have to come from the thrift store or hand me downs.  Again—remember the sacrifices are temporary and serve a bigger purpose, and once your debt is gone, the budget won’t be so tight. 

8) Try to Keep it Fun: Instead of thinking of it as a sacrifice, think of it as a Challenge:  your personal challenge to make yourself and your family the thriftiest sale-finders on the block.  Earlier this year, I decreed my own Fashion Challenge to update my closet on a budget. Last year, I revamped our Christmas Tree for under $20.  Get the kids involved: spread out the sale ads & see who can find the best deals on groceries.  Who can find the best coupons (and stores to double them)?  Who can put together the cutest outfit at the thrift store for $10?  If your kids are older & can help with dinner, organize a cooking challenge—who can make the tastiest meal on the smallest budget?  Give out awards like “the winner gets to pick this weekend’s movie/tonight’s TV show” that don’t cost extra cash.  Finding a good bargain always feels good, and if you’re involving the kids you’re teaching them about money and how to be conscious of their own finances. 

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

What’s So Great About Missouri?

Earlier this week, I was asked that question by a family member who currently resides in California.  Rather than be offended or insulted, I took it as an opportunity to reflect.  This family member originally grew up here in Missouri, but during the tumultuous 50s & 60s, when racism & sexism were rampant.  I acknowledge that experiencing something like that in your youth no doubt scars & biases a person.  And I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a time in my own life when I wasn’t such a huge fan of Missouri.  As a teen & 20-something, my friends and I all referred to it as “Misery”.  We all dreamed of “escaping” to some place more exotic.  My chance came in 2004, when I moved to New Orleans for grad school.

It took moving away to Louisiana and being gone for 6 years to find an appreciation for my home state.  And while I will always love and miss things about Louisiana, I missed being close to my immediate family more.   And as someone who has lived in multiple places, I thought I might be just the person to tackle this question.   

(FYI: I decided to limit myself to a list of ten items, but could have continued with sections like Food, Cost of Education, Music & Theatre, Local Business, etc.)

1. Low Cost of Living:  Missouri ranks #14 as far as cheap cost of living based on this CNBC article.  I also did a comparison of Springfield, MO (my current location) to San Francisco, CA on Salary.com, and  if I was to move out to Cali, my salary would likely only increase by 30%…but the cost of living would increase by 79%. I also compared Springfield to Lafayette, LA, just to get an “official” number for two places I’ve actually lived.  Cost of living in Laffy is about 10% higher, but the average salary is 9% LOWER.  Ergo,  we would have to adjust our current lifestyle in order to live within our means.  And that’s not really in the cards for us.  By maintaining a low cost of living, we’re able to squirrel away more into our savings, which we typically use to travel.  It’s much more ideal for us to have a cheap home base, and then travel frequently with the extra dough. This year alone, we’ve visited British Columbia, the Bahamas, and have a trip to New England scheduled for November.

2. Low Tax Rates:  Missourians pay on average $96 per $1000 in sales & property taxes, placing them at #39 (in a ranking of highest to lowest) on this CNN poll.  The highest tax rates in the US?  New York, Maine, Wyoming, Hawaii, and Wisconsin take the Top five spots.  In a ranking of “Cost of Doing Business” from low to high, Missouri places #19.  And in CNN’s 2013 “Top States” poll, which considers multiple factors like education, cost of living, quality of life, business friendliness, and economy, Missouri ranks squarely in the middle at #26.  Not impressive, perhaps, but its overall ranking places it well ahead of states like Hawaii (#50), California (#47), Louisiana (#43), New York (#35) & Florida (#30).

3. The Ozark Mountains:  There is beauty in nearly every state.  In Louisiana, you have majestic plantations and mysterious cypress swamps.  In Cali there’s the towering redwoods and coastal highways.  Colorado & Tennessee get impressive mountain scenery.  Some people even find Kansas beautiful; I am not one of those people, but a friend from Louisiana was awestruck and told me, “THESE are the ‘amber waves of grain’ they talk about in ‘America the Beautiful’”.  Here in Missouri, we have the rolling hills and diverse forests of the Ozark Mountains.  In the autumn, the beauty of driving through this area is awe-inspiring.  And for a geologist like me, the outcrops of rock along the roads and riverways make me swoon.

Foggy view of the White River, Hwy 341 Overlook, Baxter County, Arkansas

4. Comparatively low risk of environmental hazards:  Sure, it’s part of  “Tornado Alley”.  But I’ve lived here for 27 of my 33 years, and have never once been affected by a tornado *knocks on wood*.  Yes, many people have, but major tornadic events are few & far between, and typically only impact a small area at a time.  In my 6 years in Louisiana, I was hit by 5 hurricanes (Ivan, Katrina, Rita, Gustav, and Ike).  Every state has risks, though.  Cali gets earthquakes, landslides, wildfires & the occasional tsunami.  East & Gulf coasts have flooding, erosion, & tropical storms. Deserts have heat, drought, & periodic deluges in the valleys.  Northern states get snowbound.  Oklahoma & Kansas have death by utter boredom (just kidding).  It’s all about what risks you can handle.  This article from NBC News shows Missouri reporting 53 “major disasters” since 1953, with Louisiana reporting 60, Florida reporting 65, New York reporting 67, and California with 78 in the same time frame.

Missouri’s major cities also have significantly better air quality than some other major cities across the country. KC & STL score 3.85 and 4.5 respectively in the ALA’s “State of the Air” Report: for comparison, San Diego has 16.2, Baton Rouge has 9.3, Chicago gets a 8.5, and L.A. is terrifying with its 81.8.  For reference, Springfield (where I live) scores 0.7.

5. The Cave State!  Missouri is home to over 6,400 caves, with more being discovered and registered monthly.  There are about 20 “show caves” scattered across the state that provide tours for a small admission fee.  Missouri’s caves are the reason I fell in love with geology and went into the career that I chose. I get to explore “wild” caves with my caving grotto and am in charge of sampling water from cave springs in this area to track changes over time.

Onondaga Cave, Leasburg, MO

6. The Great Outdoors: Whether you’re into paddling, cycling, hiking, running, or horseback riding, Missouri has more than enough space for you.  The Ozark Trail alone covers 300 miles of Missouri; plus hundreds more miles of trails in the state’s 83 state parks.  Missouri has been named “Best Trail State” by the nonprofit organization American Trails.  Add in 58 paddle-ready streams & rivers (over 110,000 miles of waterways in the state), hundreds of miles of equestrian trails, and even urban Greenways like here in Springfield, and there’s no excuse to stay inside.

Johnson Shut Ins State Park

7. Sports:  Having two major cities like Kansas City & St. Louis offers us double the opportunity to pick sides and root for our favorite teams.  KC has the Chiefs and the Royals, STL has the Rams, the Cardinals, and a bonus hockey team (Go Blues!)  Throw in a major college player like Mizzou and a minor league baseball team like the Springfield Cardinals, and there’s no shortage of options.

 

Photo by me during newspaper days…you may be Missouri State now, but in my heart, you’ll always be SMS.

8. Wine Country:  When German settlers began moving west with their land grants, many of them settled in Missouri because the climate and gently rolling hills reminded them of their home country.  I myself am 10th generation German-Dutch heritage.  And sooner or later, these fine farmers realized that because of the similar climate and soil, their German grapes grew well here, and they developed the Missouri “Rhineland”.  In 1880, Missouri produced more wine than any other state; the state currently has over 100 wineries with a wide variety of wine styles.  While many wine aficionados may turn up their noses at the sweet “fruit wines” that are popular in this state, special attention should be paid to the amazing vintages that are created with Norton (the state grape), Chambourcin, Vignoles, and Cayuga grapes, which grow extremely well in this area.  Another nice thing?  No inflated price tags. Stone Hill’s 2011 Norton took top prize at this year’s Missouri Wine Competition: Price per bottle for the best wine in Missouri?  Only $18.99. Blumenhof Winery took multiple silver & bronze awards at the 2013 US Wine Competition with wines that range in price from $14-18.

 

 

9.  Beer Country, Too:  And we’re not just talking about Annheiser-Busch.  Missouri is home to over 50 breweries, many of which are concentrated in St. Louis (about 25).  Springfield has three (Springfield Brewing Company, Mother’s Brewing, and White River Brewing).  While Euro and German style beers rule the palates of this land, the nice part of micro-brewing is the “micro” portion of that, meaning small test batches.  My favorite, Mother’s Brewing, has a lot of fun experimenting with flavors:  they have three flagship brews, 4 seasonals, 8 “Mother’s Others”, plus their “Thing 1 & Thing 2” which change nearly every time I visit their Tasting Room.  So far, there’ve been 7 different versions of Thing 1 & 2… the cranberry-hibiscus wit (Thing 2 7.0) has been one of my favorites, though Thing 2 5.0 (featuring Bergamot Tea in the brewing process) was pretty darn wonderful, too.

10. Job Diversity & Pay Gaps:  This one may be specific to me, but it bears mentioning.  In Louisiana, I was subject to a lot of gender discrimination, because down there, the “environmental” field is dominated by men, and the predominant clients are oil & gas (also a male-dominated field).  Not surprising, given that the oil & gas industry employs over 17% of Louisiana’s work force, with another 5-10% working in fields that are indirectly related to that industry (like professional consulting, my career field).  And according to the AAUW’s Gender Pay Gap research, Louisiana women only make 69% the salary that men do.  In Missouri, that gap is only 78%—still not equal, but significantly better.  And according to this study by MU & the Women’s Policy Alliance, for women who have graduated college, that ratio jumps up to 90%.  Gender diversity amongst employees is also much more evident in Missouri over Louisiana; at my company in LA, there were fewer than 10 women in professional non-administrative roles…in a company of over 300 employees (<3%).  My company now?  14 out of about 60 employees (23%) are female professionals, with another 12 percent in administrative roles.  I also have more job satisfaction because my work load is not directly correlated with oil’s price per barrel.  My clients range from transport, to retail fuel, to manufacturing, to general retail, and the type of projects I deal with vary greatly.

 

Now, I’m not saying Missouri doesn’t have down sides.  But the same can be said for any state.  And this isn’t some egotistical pitch voting Missouri the best state on the planet.  Humans are very subjective in their preferences, and for me, these are the things that make this state a perfectly wonderful place to live.  Am I saying I’ll live here forever?  Who knows.  Hopefully I’ll win the lottery eventually and retire to a small island (that still has WiFi) where the dollar is worth a thousand of the local currency and I can hire a personal chef to make me fresh ceviche for every meal.  But for the time being, I’m very happy here.

So, if you’re from Missouri, hold your head high, and if someone asks you “what’s so great about it”, feel free to rattle off any of these items.  If you’re not from Missouri, we hope you visit some time!  As the Show-Me state, we’ll be more than happy to show you exactly why we’re happy to hang our hats here.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

How to Have Ab-“Normal” Finances

So, my husband & I are not NORMAL 30-somethings.  We acknowledge and embrace this.  And we frequently get asked “how we’ve done what we’ve done”.  The following things are true about us:
  • We have no student loan debt (even with two bachelor’s & two master’s degrees between us)
  • We have no credit card debt (true even before we got married).
  • We own both of our vehicles outright (also true before we got hitched).
  • We own our home—no mortgage payments.
  • We own our own business (even though we both still have full time jobs, because we’re apparently craaaazzzzyyyyy) and have NO debt on it.
  • If one of us lost our job tomorrow, we have enough in savings to cover that reduced income for over 6 months.
  • We each have multiple retirement accounts (401ks & Roths) that we contribute to monthly.
This isn’t intended to be braggish…I just cannot tell you the amazing feeling of peace that I have writing the above things.  We have been so blessed in so many ways. 
But it wasn’t always that way.  Neither of us came from money.  Our parents didn’t go fishing for fun—we went fishing for FOOD (though it did happen to BE fun, most of the time). I do in fact know what deer, squirrel, rabbit, and frog taste like—and not from trying them at a fancy exotic meats restaurant.  While other families went to Yellowstone or Disney World on vacation—we went camping. My first year of college I got extra financial aid because my dad had been out of work for a year and that dropped our household into the “low income” category.  Most of my clothes were hand-me-downs from my older cousins (who, thank heaven, were pretty stylish—I WORE OUT the pairs of Lucky jeans that got handed down) and new clothes usually came from Wal-Mart.  The dress from my senior prom was borrowed from my mom’s best friend, whose daughter was a couple years older than me.

I LURVED this dress.  It made me feel like Jessica Rabbit.
In college, I racked up multiple credit lines of debt (Free T-Shirts, what???) and had horrendous spending habits (not enough cash for pizza?  That’s okay—just put it on this “emergency” credit card that I signed up for because it came with a cool tie-dye background!!!)  There was a time when I needed a $300 repair on my car and I just broke down in tears because I had absolutely no way to pay for it. I was scraping by paycheck to paycheck, working MULTIPLE jobs & going to college, while paying the minimums on my credit cards.  I had one credit company file a suit against me for a credit card that I had stopped paying…and that card only had a $1200 limit on it.  I didn’t get a 401k until I was 27, even though I’d been offered one through my employer at age 22—because I didn’t understand how they worked & didn’t realize I could “roll it over” into my next job. I once got EIGHT overdraft fees on my bank account in the same MONTH—that’s $280 of money out of my pocket simply because I never kept track of how much money was in my bank account.
But…funny thing is… THAT is normal.
That’s a little depressing, right?  But just because something is “normal” doesn’t mean it’s right, or that you have to accept it for your life.
How did we get to our “abnormal” status?  Here’s our “How-To” list for getting to “abnormal” finances. Hopefully there’s a nugget of something you can find useful.
1. We spent a crapload of time at college.  I have to point this out because otherwise it’s just the giant elephant in the room blog.  We both have 4 year degrees and a master’s.  Which is something that only about 11% of Americans can say (note: over 30% of Americans have a Bachelor’s degree). But it’s not like we’re “using” that grad degree to climb the corporate ladder.  My husband still works the same job he did before he got his MBA, and only about half of my coworkers at the same tier as me have their master’s.  And NO, I’m not saying you have to go to college to get out of debt—in fact, I know plenty oil-field workers in Louisiana who make double what I do with no college education whatsoever.  But college was the road we took.  And we got pretty good jobs because of it.  Together, our household income just barely cracks into six figures, which is above average for our area.  We’ve also been in our professional careers for a good while now…I’ve got almost 8 years under my belt in my current field & the Hubs just celebrated 10 years with his company.  So sticking it out does pay off.

Thank you MSU…and your beautiful fountain that is only ever turned on for pretty photos like this.
I’m also not advocating spending a crapton of cash on fancy schools.  We both went to a state school & did just fine—and we both chose to go to that state school BECAUSE the school offered us a (small) scholarship, while other schools we applied to hadn’t.  We took the ACT test multiple times to qualify for a Bright Flight scholarship.  My senior year, my parents made me apply for every single scholarship that I even remotely qualified for.  We both worked while we were in college so that we only had to get loans to cover the basic tuition costs.  There’s a lot of financial aid out there for those who are willing to work for it.
2. Dave Ramsey’s Debt Snowball.  I can’t tout the awesomeness of this man enough.  I started listening to his radio show when I was about 23 while delivering pizzas in college.  This was not long after I had that credit card judgment against me, and right around the time I had the breakdown over the $300 car repair.  I started to realize how ridiculous it was that I had two jobs, made pretty decent money, was at work or school all the time, but still never had any money in the bank.  Where was it going?  I didn’t think I was living frivolously…I mean, I wasn’t eating steak dinners every night or feeding my cat raw ahi tuna.  But I wasn’t spending consciously either.  Eating out more than I cooked, hanging out with friends, spending $5/day at the university vending machines, buying CDs and thrift-store shopping when I got bored…THOSE were the things that were killing me.  It’s different for everyone.  Once I stopped ignoring my debt & faced it head on, I wanted it to go away.  And the only way to make that happen was to pay it off.  I used Dave’s Debt Snowball theory, where you pay off your smallest debt first, and then roll what you were paying on that into your next smallest debt, etc. etc.  The feeling of paying off that first debt (a loan for a laptop that I had been paying on for over 2 years but still owed $250 on) was AMAZING.  I was hooked.  Next was a $750 credit card balance.  Then a $1000 Perkins loan.  Then more credit cards, then a car loan, then the student loans… debts start to disappear a heckuva lot faster when you have an extra $300-500 to throw at them each month.
I can’t say I didn’t backslide from time to time.  There were several times (like when I moved to Louisiana, or when I moved out on my own) that the credit card debts started to climb again.  But I just went back to the basics & started the Snowball all over again.  And in 2009, I paid off the last of my credit card balances.  Today, I still use credit cards, but I pay off the balance each month.

3. We have a modest home.  Median home value for our town is $144k.  My husband bought our house for about $90k in 2005; it was new construction at the time and has about 1300 sq ft of living space.  It’s perfect for us right now, though we’ll probably have to upgrade someday when we have kids kids’ toys to contend with.  The average home value across the U.S. is $167,000 and the average mortgage payment is $1300/month.  When we got married, we tripled the amount we were sending to the bank each month (because we had the extra money from my former rent payment, and now sharing utility costs).  Then, last year, I received a small inheritance & we used a portion of that to pay the last of it off---but even if we hadn’t done that, we still would have paid it off this year. 
If you’re in the market to buy a house, make sure you don’t get more house than you can afford, and save up for a nice down payment—10-15% is recommended (you’ll get a better interest rate too—and when you’re talking about spending six figures on something, you NEED that low interest rate).  And get a 15-year fixed mortgage, with a monthly payment that is NO MORE than 25% of your monthly take home.  Dave’s got a great calculator here so you can determine how much home you can afford. And my favorite adage is: “Never have more house than you’re willing to clean by yourself.” :D
If you’re buyin’ this house, youze best be able to afford a maid too.  And a pool guy. And probably a window guy, and a landscape guy…
4. We have used cars.  I’ve never owned a new car in my life…and I’m completely okay with that.  Did you know the average new vehicle loses about $4,000 in value the SECOND you drive it off the lot?  The “newest” vehicle I’ve ever owned was 3 years old when I bought it—it even still had about 15,000 miles of warranty left on it.  I paid $12k for it, drove it for 5 years, and then sold it for $8500.  Which means it depreciated in value only about $700/year during the time I owned it (30% overall).  I then took that $8500 & put it toward a nice “new to me” vehicle that we bought for about $9700—which means I was only out of pocket $1200 for my “new” car.  And I must say—paying cash for a car feels pretty freakin’ fantastic.
People tend to buy too much car, and then accept a longer financing term (up to 5 years) in order to make their payments affordable.  But if you decide you don’t want to keep that car for 5 years and it’s not paid off when you decide to trade it in, then you’re “upside down” in your loan (i.e.—you owe more than it’s worth).  But no worries—they’ll just roll the difference into your new financing, right?  So now you’re even further in debt.  Studies show that around 30% of Americans are upside-down in their car loans. 
How do you break the cycle?  Again, I refer you to Dave Ramsey for some easy (though not instantaneous) rules for how to get into a $10,000 car that you OWN outright in 30 months, even if you only own a $1500 clunker right now.  
But if you DO have to get a car loan: a) don’t buy more car than you can afford (experts say no more than 10-15% of your monthly take home as a payment), b) don’t get a loan term longer than 36 months, c) ALWAYS pay more than the minimum payment, and d) once you pay it off, KEEP it for a while and put the money you WERE sending to the bank into a savings account.  That way when you decide to trade it in, you have cash PLUS your trade-in value. Let’s say you have a car that’s worth about $6k when you’ve paid it off.  If you save $300/month for two years, you’ve got $7200 in CASH plus about $5000 in trade to shop with.  You can buy a very nice car for $12,000—and since you’re paying cash, you can haggle with the dealers for a better deal.  Also—shop on Craiglist or the classifieds.  You can get more car for your money if you buy from an individual (example—my $9700 car would have been closer to $12,000 from a dealer). It might be a little more hassle (having to sell your own car outright first), but it’s really worth it in the end.
5. We pay off our credit card balance each month.  This is where we’re not “true” Dave Ramsey devotees, since Dave is anti-credit cards altogether.  But we both have cards that earn airline miles, so we use them as our primary card instead of a debit card (which is how we’re able to take multiple vacations each year and only pay a few bucks for airfare).  Our credit card payments are set on auto-pay, and they pull the full balance each month so we never pay any interest.  This really scared me at first---back when I hadn’t fully reigned in my “extracurricular spending”.  How will I know there’s enough in the bank???  But actually, that put a little “tic” in the back of my brain, which helped to curb unnecessary spending.  Do I really NEED these shoes?  Do I really HAVE to buy that CD?  Now, our monthly payments stay relatively steady, so the money is always there. Why?
6. We keep money in the bank.  When I was new to the “managing my finances” world, I didn’t trust myself.  When a paycheck came in, I said “okay, I have $1000 here.  Out of that check, I need to pay rent, car loan, cable, and buy groceries.  That gives me $200 left over.” And I would immediately move that $200 “extra” into my savings so I couldn’t spend it.  Now—that was a pretty great theory, most of the time… until a bunch of unexpected expenses popped up.  Then I had to contend with the dreaded “overdraft fees”.  So, then I started keeping my “Emergency Fund” in my primary checking account, so there was always an extra $1,000 on top of my typical expenses in my bank account.  Once I started doing that, I never had another overdraft ever again, but my finances were still staying in check, AND I was still putting the extra money (once the $1,000 was established) into a separate savings account.  If there was an emergency and the $1,000 got depleted, I would move some back from savings into the checking account, but that was the only time money came out of savings.
7. We have a budget for EVERYTHING.  Our bank account comes with access to an online software called Finance Works.  If your bank doesn’t offer something like this, I might suggest switching banks or downloading a program like Mint.com, which is free.  We have our bank accounts, credit cards, and investment accounts linked into it, so records for ALL transactions, whether from a debit card, check, or credit card, all show up there. 
The “Goals” section will have a wide variety of categories:  Auto, Mortgage, Medical, Groceries, Work Related, Cash, Insurance, Utilities, Clothing, Fitness, Dining, Entertainment, etc.  You enter in your spending goals for each category.  Note: If you’ve never made a budget before, Dave Ramsey has a nice online budget-building tool so you can enter in your income and your goals & it will tell you how much you have left.
From inside the software, you can categorize every transaction—and even split transactions if they fall into multiple categories (say, if you get an oil change at Wal-Mart & do your grocery shopping while you’re waiting, and then pay for everything all at the same time—you can split out the cost of the oil change into your “Automotive” budget and put the rest under “Groceries”.  Or if you get Cash back while you’re shopping—because yes, we have a “Cash” budget too.)
transactions Screen shot of categorizing transactions.
After categorizing, you can go to the “Goals” section & see how you’re doing in each category.
budget
Screenshot of the budget tracking section.
Using this tool, we can sit down at the end of the month and see how we’re doing.  Like this month, looks like we dined out a bit more than usual—which could be related to us coming in way under budget for groceries.  We can also see if our goals are realistic--if you see a budget get blown several months in a row, you probably need to re-evaluate: do I need to curb my spending in this category, or is the number in my budget unrealistic?  Likewise, if you see that a category never gets fully spent, you can reduce your goal and move the excess somewhere else—like savings!  Recently I had to adjust our Medical spending category, because one of the medications we were paying for is now free under the new Health Care Reform Bill.  So that budget doesn’t need to account for that amount anymore. 
And yes—FinanceWorks does let you set up mobile alerts, so it can send you a notification if you’re getting close to (or go over) your budget for a particular category.
And if you are BRAND new to budgeting, I actually do recommend Dave Ramsey’s cash budget Envelope System.  I used it when I was first reigning myself in and it totally worked.  Once you feel like you have a good grasp on your budget for each category, you can move back to using debit cards, so long as you still REGULARLY track your budgets in a software system.  I’m also a fan of Suze Orman, who recommends that during your first month of trying to develop a budget, you keep EVERY receipt you get in a box, and then sort through the receipts at the end of the month so you can tangibly see where your money went, since we all tend to get ‘spending amnesia’.
8. We use coupons & Price Matching to save on groceries.  I’ve already discussed this in detail over on this post, so I won’t go into it here, but seriously, it helps.  We save about 30% on our grocery bill by doing that.
9. We live modestly.  Maybe that goes without saying, but I’ll say it anyway.  We don’t go out clubbing every night.  We typically go out on Wednesday nights for trivia (& have a couple of whatever’s on special), have a Date Night on Friday (which can range from dinner & a movie, to bowling, or sometimes ends up just being a night in with pizza, Redbox, & a bottle of wine), and then usually do something fun on the weekend, whether it be going out with friends, catching a local baseball game, canoeing, or camping.  But we rarely go out Friday, Saturday, AND Sunday…partially because we like to have at least one day to be lazy around the house.  We try not to eat out more than once a week, and when we do, we almost ALWAYS use a Groupon/Living Social type coupon (and we still get to try new places all the time because the Springfield area has over 1,000 restaurants).
When it comes to movies, we usually wait until things come out on Redbox, or go to see them at the second-run theater, which charges $3.50/ticket rather than $10.  If there is something we want to see right away, the Hubs can usually find a discount code or get us some free movie bucks through Fandango (or we use gift cards).  (And we TOTES sneak in our own snacks instead of paying theater prices.  Shhhhh…)
When it comes to clothes…we may officially be classified as tightwads.  According to this article, the average American household spends about 3-5% of their income on clothing.  I’m guessing this is probably skewed by families that have kids who are constantly outgrowing their gear.  But as far as we go… well, I discussed it in my 2013 Fashion Challenge post, but last year I spent all of about $145 on clothes.  That’s less than 0.3% of my income.  This year it will be a little more than that, but still not even 1% of my income.  I usually only go shopping when I need to replace something—though I do still love to go & browse (Marshalls, TJ Maxx & Ross are all in the same shopping plaza near our business—it’s like Heaven!).  But it’s very hard for me to purchase something unless it is INTRINSICALLY DIFFERENT from something I already own.  I may fall in love with a pair of purple ballet flats…but unless they’re on a crazy-cheap sale & really comfy, I can’t say yes to that because I already OWN a pair of purple flats. (For the record—if they ARE on crazy-cheap sale, I will TOTES buy them, and if I like them better, I’ll donate my old purple flats to Goodwill…because hey: tax deduction.)
shoe Sorry cutie…I’ll just have to wait until you’re on sale.
We rarely buy music albums—if I like a song, I keep it on a list in my phone (My Tags in Shazam) and then the next time Amazon does an mp3 credit giveaway (or I get a gift card from someone), I’ll buy some songs off my list.  If we buy a DVD or video game, we typically re-sell it on Ebay when we’re done with it.
We also really try not to be wasteful.  Many nights our meals are heavily influenced by “what is about to go bad in the fridge?”  This makes for some pretty offbeat combinations sometimes, but hey—sustenance is sustenance.  Sure, I may not always “feel” like eating whatever it is…but our bottom line is more important than cravings from my belly (which ALWAYS wants pizza). 
Honestly, I think these behaviors are influenced by our growing up “poor”.  I talk about it a little bit above, but please don’t think I had a bad childhood, by any means.  It’s not like, as a kid, I even KNEW that we didn’t have a lot of money.  I never thought in those terms. I don’t ever remember not having enough to eat or feeling “deprived”.  I grew up with a tight-knit extended family and loved playing with my cousins more than anything—which is probably why I still value a good BBQ & Board Games Night more than going out on the town with friends.  I totes had an old-school Nintendo (8-bit) and eventually a Game Boy (black & white, of course)… but we picked up used games at the local flea market or thrift store for $5 bucks instead of paying $30 for brand new.  My parents made me use my allowance (a reasonable $5/week for doing my chores) to buy things that I wanted, so had an understanding of the value of money (and saving up for big things) from a young age.
10. We think about the bigger picture.  We LOVE to travel. I mean, love it.  We’re like: God, each other, then American Airlines. (Just kidding, family…kind of.)  So for us, when we look at the price of things, we compare them to vacations.  When I wrote about going all-organic and thought about the extra $3200/year it would cost us, my first thought was, “my gosh…that’s a week in Europe!”  Saving $60 on something equates to a hotel room somewhere, or a tank of gas (about what it takes for us to travel to St. Louis or Kansas City for the weekend).  $200 equates to the amount we would spend per person on our yearly trip to the Gulf.  By keeping those goals in mind, we are less likely to splurge on unnecessary things, because they essentially use up our travel money
Find your thing that you love, and think in those terms. If you really want a new car, think of every dollar you save as going toward that purchase.  If you have always wanted a pair of Christian Louboutin shoes, or a Tag Heuer watch, or a trip to Italy, or a week at culinary school…just use whatever motivates you.  Develop a “unit” for that thing (“$20?  That’s one of the tiny diamonds in my dream Tag watch!”  or “$125…nope, that would cover the cost of my knife set for culinary boot camp.”)  If you stop living in the moment all the time, you stop SPENDING in the moment too.  What is going to be more rewarding in the long run…that super-cute but too pricey tank top that will probably go out of style next year, or the satisfaction of finally having the money to sit on a veranda in Tuscany while sipping a glass of brunello made by the vineyard next door?  Which will you remember longer?
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Standing on top of the Acropolis: better than a new tank top any day. PS—I actually AM wearing a top in this photo, just FYI.