Halloween 2012: A tale of the Toxic Chef & her Glowing Ooze Pie.

Apparently I’m just addicted to costumes that glow.  A couple years ago it was my not-so-toxic oozy-boozy drink.  This year, after floundering for weeks trying to conjure up a costume idea, I decided upon a marriage of my real job, and my bloggy-job. And thus, the “Toxic Chef” was born.

I found a chef hat at Party City for $3, and an apron for $2 at a thrift store.  But the piece de resistance for this costume would be a glowing ooze pie.

A “toxic torte”, if you will. *ba dum CHING!* (Yes, yes, I am a HUUUUUUUGE dork.)

But first…we accessorize our hat & apron, lest someone think I was just a “normal” chef.  So I created this:

And then used adhesive fabric printer sheets to print & attach it to my hat and apron.

Then…the apron needed some “oomph”.  It just looked too NEW.  This was remedied with a spray bottle and some water tinted with green food dye, to show green “oozy” splotches all over.

Originally, there were also plans to create a liquid latex chemical burn for my arm as well…but I just ran out of time.

And now…the pie.

Ingredients: (NOTE: This pie is 100% INEDIBLE.)

Aluminum pie tin

Aluminum foil

4 glow sticks (preferably green)

Slime (4 oz clear glue, 1.5 c water, 1 tsp borax, food coloring)

Salt dough pie crust (1 C flour, 1/2 c salt, 1/2 c water)

Cinnamon or bronzer (to “paint” the crust)

Gloss clear spray paint (optional)

Hot glue/glue gun

 

Directions:

1. Make your slime.  Mix the Borax with 1 c of the water & stir until dissolved.  Then in a separate bowl (glass is best, so you won’t stain your bowl), mix the glue, 1/2 cup of water, and food coloring together until uniform.

Pour in the Borax mixture, and you will see globules start to form immediately.  Stir with the spoon for about 30 seconds to combine, and pretty soon, you’ll have this:

 

Hooray polymer science!!! (If doing this activity with kids, here’s a great explanation of why this works.)

Collect all the bits of slime, then drain the bowl of the excess liquids.  You can set this aside in an airtight container until you’re ready to compile the rest of your pie.

 

2. Crust:  Preheat the oven to 250F.  Combine the flour, salt, and water & knead until thoroughly combined.  On a floured cookie sheet, roll out to the size of your pie pan, place the pie pan on top as a template, and cut around.  THEN, remove the pie plate and cut a circle about 1 inch in—you’re making the “lip” of the crust that will sit on top of the pie pan.  Remove the interior dough & re-roll out.  Cut into strips with a pizza cutter, and then place on the circle of dough to create a lattice top (weaving the strips over & under).  Once you’re done weaving, press the edges into the outer crust well.

 

Place this in the oven for about 2 hours.  You’re not “baking” it, just drying the dough out so that it will harden.  Once the crust is dried out, remove from the oven and dust with either cinnamon or bronzer makeup to give it a golden appearance.  Use a large spatula to gently remove the crust from the pan & transfer to a sheet of wax paper.  If you like, you can then spray the crust with a clear gloss sealant to give it a light shine (it will also keep the cinnamon or bronzer from rubbing off).

 

Now it’s time to assemble your pie.  Wad up aluminum foil inside the pan, about 3-4 layers should do it, because your slime will only fill about the top 1/2 inch of the pan.  Snap your glow sticks and place them on top of the foil.  Then stretch out your slime and lay it over the top (NOTE: Slime is very forgiving.  If you need, you can break it off into pieces, and then lay across the top.  As long as they’re touching, the pieces will meld together as it sits.)

Heat up your glue gun, and then attach the crust to the edge of the pie shell in a couple places so it doesn’t shift.

Pie: Pre-Glow

And again, once the glow sticks had been activated:

 

Now—head off to your party!!!

The Toxic Chef & her ostrich-ridin’ husband.

We had a great time with our friends, munching on delicious goodies and laughing at each other’s costumes (watching a guy in an inflatable sumo costume try to get up from the couch never gets old, FYI).  We had “Troll 2” playing in the background…and then afterward watched the DOCUMENTARY about Troll 2 called “Best Worst Movie” (because we’re nerds like that).

Later we held a “Potions” contest where we concocted elixirs from various decoctions, and then named our potions and described what they would do. 

The winners were “Martin Luther Kanine” which could allegedly cure racism in dogs (did I mention we had our dogs at this party?  We collectively own 5 small dogs.  And apparently, shih tzus and pomapoos don’t like pugs.  Or Boston Terriers.  And Boston terriers don’t like ANYBODY)…

(…’specially pugs with glasses. Sheesh.)

…and the “Copulatus Concoctus” which causes the drinker to make sexual innuendos out of EVERYTHING.  The “Nilbog Juice” touted the ability to cure E.D. and AIDS…too bad it tastes too awful to drink.

 

Hope everyone has a fantastic & safe Halloween!!!