Adventures in Parenting: Toddler Meal Prep.

Earlier this year, Lil' Man's daycare noted that they were going to be discontinuing serving meals in 2020.  We were a little frustrated in the moment, but eventually got on board--the director noted that it was the only way they could afford to give their teachers competitive wage increases to go along with state minimum wage increases without raising tuition.  And honestly, they're great teachers who deserve to be paid well, and the tuition cost is already competitive or lower than most of the other schools in the area.  So, we can deal with learning to pack lunches.

I got pretty good at family meal planning within the last year, and after talking with one of the moms in my church group (a single mom of two), realized that streamlining would be the best way to go.  Make a schedule and stick with it.

Can I just say...whoever out there who is in charge of coming up with a monthly menu for schools and daycares... y'all are rockstars.  This is NOT easy.  You want them to have variety, but also give them things they'll eat readily without prodding in a limited lunch period.  You want it to be balanced and hit the food groups, but not end up with food waste.  You want quick & convenient options, but not too processed.  

Then there's also the challenge of finding things they'll eat cold, when they've gotten used to hot lunches every day, without defaulting to a PB&J every day (even though it's REALLY tempting). I spent a bunch of time searching for things like "sneaking veggies into foods" and taking pics of pre-packaged foods at the store so I could compare prices.

Anyway, we came up with a plan.  We have yet to IMPLEMENT the plan, since it doesn't start until January 2, 2020, but I'll try to remember to follow up in a month or so and report back in as to whether it was a failure or success.

First, we made a list of things we know he'll eat, divided up by proteins, veggies, and fruits.  Fruits are no problem in our house, but he'll only eat 2 raw veggies:  carrots and broccoli.  Both ONLY with some sort of dip.  

Then, we came up with a schedule (the school will provide snacks for $1.50/day, but we have SO much snack stuff at home right now):

This might shift a bit over time, and depending on what things come home with him at the end of the day, but it's a starting point.

Next:  Lil' Man needs a lunchbox.  Thankfully, his Nana hooked him up for Christmas with this awesome dino box from Bentology.

Nana also loaded him down at Christmas with a poop-load of gummi snacks, rice krispy treats, crackers, and pouches...because she's a Nana, and that's her job. :)

Which is awesome...but it also means we have to find a place for it all in our tiny pantry and get organized.  So I guess it's a good thing the Hubs picked up a bunch of these plastic baskets at Menards over Black Friday (free after online rebate).  

We also picked up these plastic containers at Wal-Mart (Black Friday deal), which fit in his lunch box and also work for meal-prepping for myself and The Hubs' lunches as well.

I've been trying to lean toward Mediterranean diet-type options...more successful some days than others.

So we'll see how it goes. If you have any tips to share, please leave them in the comments!

Rebranding the FeauxCajun Blog

So recently The Hubs and I took a trip to Cancun, while I was reading the book "Quitter" by Jon Acuff.  Now, I really enjoy my day job as a geologist, and I make pretty good money doing it, so I have no delusions about leaving that job to become a professional blogger.  This has always been a hobby for me--a venue for me to exercise my creative writing skills.

A little history about me: I originally went to school to be a journalist. I wanted to work for a newspaper, or a magazine...for a while I really wanted to be a photographer for National Geographic.  At times I wanted to become a screenwriter, or maybe a casting director, or a critic who reviewed movies and restaurants for a living.  I graduated with a degree in Mass Media with a minor in geology (because at the time my career arrow was pointed toward "environmental journalist").

And then...the internet happened.  And suddenly, everyone could be a critic...fo' FREE.  I had a realization that unless I was willing to move to Orlando, New York, or Hollywood, I probably wasn't going into TV or the movies, or National Geographic.  I did work as a production assistant for a local TV station for a while right after college. And it WAS super fun.  But I wanted something...more.  I wanted to play outside for a living.   So I decided to go back to school to get my master's degree in Environmental Science, and go into environmental consulting.  That was about 15 years ago, and it brought me to Louisiana.

I'm happy I made that career change, because it led me on the path that my life has followed and I have no regrets.  But the underlying joy within my original degree path was CREATIVITY.  I wanted to be creative and have someone pay me for it.  The downside about being a scientist--while there is a lot of problem solving involved, there's not a lot of traditional "creative outlets".  My journalism background has helped me become excellent at writing reports that have good flow and are easy for the average person to read and understand.  Now a big part of my job is to help others I work with build and grow these skills by training them and reviewing/editing reports for them.

But this blog is my place to just be CREATIVE.  Be that with food or words or photos.

It originally started with my journey to learn to cook Cajun food in 2008.  But over the last decade, this blog has changed, as I'VE changed.  I've become a wife, a mom, a beer traveler, a home brewer, a debt-free thrifty person.  

And so, I've decided to rebrand this blog.  The name won't be changing, because I'M still the "FeauxCajun".  That's a big part of my identity, just like the other parts of me.  (Also, it would be a giant pain in the butt, and y'all know I'm lazy.)

But the look of this blog will be changing, as will the focus of future content.  I want to spend more time focusing on the things that drive me today.

- Beer Traveling: (still with a focus on kid-friendliness)

- Home Brewing: with a lot of help from The Hubs, our unofficial "brew master".

- Travel Adventures: restaurant, event and hotel reviews, both with and without our kiddo.

- Money Saving Tips: Mostly on travel deals, but also just how we save money on a day-to-day basis, including on home renovations.

- Cajun Cooking:  Yes, there will still be some of this, but I want to focus more on creating my own recipes, rather than just remaking someone else's recipe that I found on Pinterest.  Things that are my own creation, or a collaboration with friends, like Crawchos and Bacon Wrapped Boudin Jalapeno Poppers.

So that's the plan.  If you, as a reader, have any feedback on these changes to come, I'd love to hear them!

Adventures in Parenting: Potty Training & Pacifiers

So, Lil' Man is now 2 1/2 years old.  He's a pretty good kid.

Hanging out with his cousins.

We had to get ear tubes in April because of persistent ear infections and a speech delay, and honestly, I think we're seeing a big improvement in his speech and hearing.  However, words that were already regularly in his vocabulary pre-tubes are still pretty mushy, like a lot of his BFF's names at day care. No worries, we'll get there.

So, onto next battles:  

1) The Binky.  We have already whittled binkies down to bedtime/naps only.  But we've had a really hard time trying to pull the trigger.  So...we brought in reinforcement.

In the form of a duck.

Got this book from the Library, and we've been reading it each night. I didn't know it before we got it, but this is probably the perfect book for him.  In this book, Mama Duck weans Baby Duck down to "only in bed, sleepyhead", before finally taking the paci away 100%.  We knew we were going on vaycay in May so we didn't want to do it before that (since sleeping in unfamiliar places is always a crapshoot).  

Once we got back, the Hubs started to slowly whittle his binky down.  We started by just cutting off the tip.  Lil' Man saw it, and held it up to me: "Mama, wook--my binky bwoke!"  And yet he still proceeded to stuff it into his mouth.  Right now, there's only about an inch left.  He has to be holding onto it with his teeth...but he's not letting go so easy.  My suspicion is that eventually, all of the nipple part will be gone and he'll just use it as a fidget toy. 

Or, he will climb out of his crib in the middle of the night, come into our room, and proceed to beat us with the remaining stub.  One of those options.

2) Potty Training.  Lil' Man has zero interest.  He's inadvertently peed in the potty a total of about 3 times in the last 6 months.  It's a battle to get him on the potty after he brushes his teeth (the teeth-brushing is it's own battle), and then once he's sat down and started playing with his bath toys, it's a battle to get him OFF the pot and into his jammies.

We tried saying "if you pee-pee in the potty, you get a candy".  His eyes lit up: "TANDY?"  And then it's all he talks about while he's sitting there.  But once he discovered that there's no candy for simply SITTING on the potty, cue the waterworks.

We I accidentally broke the toilet seat in the bathroom I share with the kiddo (apparently I don't know my own strength...or at least the strength of my butt.)  So we got a new seat that has the little "kiddo sized" seat that folds up into the lid.  Tried to see if maybe going on the "big potty" would be more of an enticement?  Nope.

So I bought a copy of this book on Amazon...I have yet to read it. (In my defense, I was finishing Nicholas Sparks "Best of Me" first...which I borrowed from my mom like 2 years ago.)  But hopefully it contains all the secrets to potty training. 

Until then, here's another 3-4 months' worth of crap-capsules.

Adventures in Parenting: When Your Child Isn't Perfect.

So, I mean, we all, as the humble parents we are, KNOW that our kids aren't perfect.  The lack of sleep we're accustomed to, their tantrums when you tell them they can't watch Bubble Guppies because dinner is ready and they just finished watching an hour of Elmo, the nose picking, the sass-mouth.  Come on.  We ALL already fully comprehend that our kids aren't perfect.  They are (for the most part) normal, but definitely not perfect.

BUT...when someone else points out an imperfection...reality comes swooping in with big bold letters.

Last month, our son's daycare hosted development screenings by Parents As Teachers.  We filled out a questionnaire, and they came in to do...whatever it is they do to determine how language and fine motor skills are coming along.  And for the most part, our kiddo did great.  

For the most part.

After the screening, The Hubs got a call.  Letting us know that Lil' Man's communication skills are behind all his peers.  And they think it's because he has a lot of wax buildup in his ears, and/or because he seems to have constant ear infections (most of which we've likely never even known about because he's completely asymptomatic when they show up--during at least 3 well-baby visits, we were informed that our kiddo had an ear infection).  Just recently, he got sent home with a fever and after he stayed fussy for another day, we decided to take him to the doctor, thinking it was an ear infection.  It was Strep...AND an ear infection.  If it hadn't been for the Strep, we wouldn't have even known he had an ear infection.

So, because of said wax and ear infections, the PAT folks surmised that this whole time while he's been learning language, he hasn't been hearing it properly, and thus many of his words are mushy and sound more like babble--even though he's actually trying to use real words.  Most of the time, The Hubs and I can eke out the essence of whatever he's trying to say---and some words/sentences are very clear, like "*insert name of his BFF* bonk his head chasin' da vacuum". (Something he was very excited to tell us when I picked him up from school earlier this week.)

To be honest--we had already noticed this.  We asked his pediatrician at his 2 year appointment if we should be concerned about his speech, since it seemed like some of his classmates already spoke pretty clearly.  She said that because of his age, there wasn't much they could definitively tell, but since he knew over 100 words that it probably wasn't a problem. And that if we still had concerns when he was closer to 3, she'd schedule something for us.

And then, 6 months down the road, it gets pointed out to us again, this time by another professional.  

And that stings.  

It stings partially because you feel like you've finally gotten past most of the stupid mom-guilt floating around out there, and can feed your kid non-organic food without any twinge of regret...and then something REAL comes along, and it's hard not to internalize it.

"Is this somehow MY FAULT?"  

Is it because we still let him sleep with a paci?  No, surely not--he's not talking in his sleep, that's not the problem...could we have taken him to the doctor more, any time he even touched his ear?  Should we have been more diligent about cleaning the wax out of his ears?  Are we talking too fast and he can't learn how to pronounce things properly because WE'RE mushing up words? And why can't he pedal a trike yet? (Entirely separate issue, but still...)

And no matter how many times people say, "hey, you're catching it early--the majority of kids who have speech issues as a toddler are completely fixed by the time they go to school..."

Fixed.  Which means he's broken right now? (Or "BOH-enn", as Lil' Man would say.)

Does this kid look broken?

And then there's envy.  Envy of the parents of the kids who talk clearly.  What did they do differently?  Or the friends who have tots who were speaking clearly and using compound sentences before they were 18 months old.  I know every kid is different, and that boys develop slower--I've heard it all.  It doesn't make it sting LESS.  

So...we talked with the pediatrician again, who's making us an appointment with an audiologist, and then an ENT doc if the first appointment seems to indicate a problem.  And we're trying to enunciate when we speak.  We're repeating words back when he mushes them to try and enforce the proper speech.  We're doing all the things.  And maybe someday, our kid will be slightly less imperfect.

Maybe he can't hear, but his fine motor skills are on point.

Adventures in Parenting: Welcome to Your Almost 2-Year-Old (An Owner's Manual)

Hello, and Congratulations on your acquiring an Almost Two Year Old (ATYO)!  You've made a wise (questionable) decision with choosing this model.  This set of instructions has been designed to help you as learn to navigate the waters of a growing toddler and their accessory packages.

SAFETY TIPS:
Use outlet covers.
Lock all cabinets with sharp or breakable items. 
Employ safety gates judiciously.
Do not attempt to remove batteries.  Removal or attempted removal of any components will void the warranty*.

COMPONENTS:
Mouth:  This is where fuel should be added to your ATYO, approximately 4-6 times daily.   You may notices that the preferred type of fuel is also widely variable, particularly as your ATYO unit learns the word "no".   The mouth is also the center for verbal commands.  You may notice that the verbal capabilities of your unit increase over time.  This is good!  (Or at least, that's what we're told.  We've also been told the opposite is true.  It's all debatable.)  

Fingers/Arms: These can now reach counter tops, so Owners should be very wary of leaving anything lying about.  If there is a Pyrex dish of cookies on the counter and you hear a crash, you can't say you weren't warned. 

Nose: The "finger" component fits here.  

Waste Disposal Component:  You're still a ways from potty training.  Sorry. ATYO User Manual recommends continued purchase of the "Diapers" and "Wipes" accessories.

Hair: This grows at an alarming rate. You may want to find a kid's haircut provider (KHP). For short haircuts, the idea of a KHP using loud clippers may be alarming to your ATYO...but it will make the process much faster, which is ultimately worth it in the end.  ATYO User Manual recommends the "bribes" accessory pack. (Note: This accessory pack is also handy for weekly maintenance of the "fingernails" component.)

TROUBLESHOOTING:
Teeth: While essential for fuel processing, you may note that your ATYO using their "teeth" on non-fuel sources, such as pets, parents, siblings, or other ATYO's.  If the latter, you will likely receive notification from the ATYO's Day Care Provider (DCP).  While alarming, your DCP will notify you that this malfunction is normal, and likely due to their instinctual reaction to having toys stolen from them.  You will get at least one of these calls a week.  This is normal. In fact, any call from your DCP that isn't telling you that your ATYO unit is sick and needs to be picked up immediately is generally considered good news.

Head: Your ATYO unit comes equipped with a highly durable cranial "noggin", designed to protect the central processing unit (see "Brain").  This component is also highly susceptible to periodic wear and tear due to the natural instability of your ATYO unit.  Typical wear & tear is not covered under the warranty*.  ATYO User Manual recommends purchase of the "first aid kit" accessory.  

You may also note that your ATYO unit is resistant to water being applied to the "head" component, unless the ATYO performs the application themselves.  Getting squirted in the face at a splash pad appears to be a joyful and entertaining event, whereas periodic washing results in howls as though you were trying to remove one of your ATYO's components.  ...Solidarity, new Owner. We don't get it, either.

Communication:  As previously noted (see "Mouth"), your ATYO unit has the ability to learn additional verbal commands over time, much like a Furby.  Also similar to a Furby, these commands may at times be garbled or not include any actual English words.  Unlike a Furby, your ATYO unit may become increasingly agitated as you try to interpret, for example, what "muh" means in this particular instance. Your unit may be asking for "more" food, liquid sustenance (aka "milk"), or perhaps its favorite book ("moo", aka "Mr. Brown Can Moo, Can You?")...or perhaps something entirely different.  This is frustrating for both Owner and the ATYO unit.  When you successfully communicate and satiate your ATYO unit, feel free to reward yourself with a well-earned drink or self high five.

Strange Smells: If you notice an unusual odor emanating from your ATYO unit, first check to see if there is a leak from the "waste disposal" component. Then immerse in warm water and wash gently with mild soap (see also "TROUBLESHOOTING-HEAD").  Use of garden hoses, sprinklers, or pools is also effective.

Temperament: You may notice that your ATYO sporadically and with little notice can burst into fits of rage over relatively inconsequential events, such as: 
- being told they need to sit in their chair to eat breakfast, or
- that you can't get them their milk because they're sitting in front of the fridge door and refuse to move.  

The loud noises and tears may be accompanied by wild gesticulations and rolling around on the floor. Despite what you may have been told about this behavior occurring after the unit's 2nd birthday, THIS IS NORMAL. When these incidents occur, two options are available:

a) remain calm, steady, comfort the ATYO and attempt to explain why life is unjust, or
b) cave and give them whatever they want.

Owners of older models may note that there used to be an Option C in the manual; however, as "physical adjustments" have generally become socially unacceptable, we are no longer allowed to recommend that option.   Make physical adjustments at your own risk, as these may void the warranty*.

The "binky" accessory can also be useful in many troubleshooting scenarios.

ACCESSORIES:
All accessories are sold separately; prices vary by location. 

You may notice your ATYO unit taking great interest in accessories for the Almost Three Year Old (ATYO 2.0) or higher models. While these are not compatible with your ATYO unit, good luck trying to keep them away from them.

User Notes:
* Unit does not come with any warranty.  Good luck, sucker.

Adventures in Parenting: Competing Priorities

Overcommitted.  I think this can describe just about anyone, but in particular seems to be applicable for most parents, and definitely for working parents.  My kid is a year and a half old, he doesn't even have any extracurricular activities, and I already feel pulled in a dozen directions.

The closest thing my kid has to after-school activities: playing outside with the other neighbor kids.

Before I had a kid, my list of priorities was pretty simple: (and not in this order)
1 - time with my husband
2 - time with my friends (mostly via weekly trivia nights)
3 - work
4 - time with family (about once a month, visiting my folks and/or in laws)
5 - church (weekly)
6 - caving grotto (once a month for meetings, and then going caving about every other month)

And then...I had a kid.  A kid whose schedule overlaps with mine for only about 2 hours a day.  He wakes up at 7:30a, eats breakfast with me for 15 minutes before we head off to day care.  Then we pick him up 9 hours later, we have dinner together, play for a bit, then he's off to bed by 8pm.  Sure, there's weekends, but in general, Monday through Friday, we get 2 hours together.

Biscuits & gravy for dinner, because he's special.

I think this is a hard concept to explain to anyone who doesn't have a kid.  But I'll make an attempt.
If you're married/in a committed relationship: imagine if you only got to spend 2 hours a day with your significant other. You can't talk/text/Facetime/Skype ANY outside of that 2 hours.  Oh, and you're going to be cooking dinner/eating for about 30 minutes to an hour of that 2 hours.  So really, only 1 hour of quality, one-on-one time together, 5 days a week.  How much of that time would you be willing to sacrifice for other things?

...like your friends?
...going to the gym?
...or self-care, like getting a hair cut, a massage, or pedicure?
...or essential errands, like grocery shopping or paying bills?
...or work?
...or personal time, like reading or blogging?
...or extra-curriculars, like volunteering or social/networking organizations?

Based on your personal life goals and priorities, probably some of those things are easier to give up than others. For me, that last one goes out the window.  I'm only willing to do networking during regular business hours. Thankfully, I have a job that allows that.  I'm also allowed to use up to 4 hours of paid time annually to do volunteer activities during business hours.  My volunteering choice?  Donating blood.  It takes about an hour and I can only do it every 2 months, which is very manageable for me.  I can leave work an hour early, go donate, and then still get home about the same time.

But that also means I haven't been to a caving meeting in over a year, and I've only been in a cave twice since my son was born.  I also choose not to go to the after hours socials that my local business networking group hosts.  I've been asked to join the Junior League--but while I admire the work they do, I know it requires a lot of time commitments, and I just don't have that right now.

Where I used to see my friends weekly at trivia, our group is evolving, and many of us have kids now.  So we've only played trivia at our old haunt TWICE since we had our kid.  I live less than 5 minutes from one of our trivia buddies, but she's just as busy wrangling kids and quality time in the evenings as I am, so we really don't see each other much. I think we all probably manage to get together about once a quarter.  Really.  From weekly, to 4 times a year.  

Benefit of young kids: Using our kids' birthdays as an excuse to see our adult friends.

I do also have another group of fellow mom friends--we manage to get together for lunch about once every other month.  Again, easier to fit into my schedule when it's during the day and something I was going to be doing anyway. There are some friends who have kids of their own that we just haven't seen in FOREVER.  We try to make plans, but then somebody get sick or has a soccer game or any of the other million things that can come up.  Making plans when you have kids is HARD. And finding time to just be an adult around other adults is hard too, because we don't have built in babysitters (aka grandparents) nearby.  So it means a) only one of us can go, or b) we have to shell out $30-40 for a babysitter. I long for the days when you could just leave your kid with a teenager for $5/hour...assuming I knew any teenagers that lived close enough to take on that responsibility. The oldest kid in our neighborhood is 8...so it'll be a while.

As far as the gym goes, I dropped my membership.  I took a close look at my schedule, and realized there was no good way to make it work...at least with the gym I was going to.  My gym was 5 minutes from my work, but 20 minutes from my home.  Realistically, the best times for me to go to the gym would be a) before Lil' Man gets up, or b) after he goes to sleep.  I'm not going to drive 20 minutes to another town to make that happen. I may eventually look into getting a membership at a gym closer to my house...or I may just start running up and down the basement stairs 10 times a night after I put the kid to bed. We'll see.

I do try to schedule self-care once a quarter, whether it be a pedicure or massage or just some alone time to shop for myself.  I've had two haircuts in the last 18 months. I haven't been clothes shopping for myself in...well...I mean, I bought some shoes on Amazon about 3 months ago.  Does that count?  No?  Okay...um...OH!  Black Friday. I bought some new shirts on Black Friday. I mean...I didn't try them on or anything, because it's freakin' Black Friday and I gotta hurry up and get in line and they were just long sleeve tees, but still.  So like, 6 months ago.  If you mean the last time I leisurely strolled through a store and actually tried things on...probably a year.* (To be fair, I don't really like clothes shopping that much.  And the only reason I don't use Stitch Fix or MM LaFleur is because I'm also a cheapskate who doesn't like to pay more than $20 for ANYTHING.  Comparatively, I go shopping for a mixed six pack of new beers to try at least once a month.)

*Note: this paragraph was written a few weeks ago...and I did in fact do a little clothes shopping over Memorial weekend.  My favorite resale shop had a 50% off sale and I found a few shirts & dresses for work.

Bought some stuff for the kiddo and Hubs as well.

Blogs, as I've mentioned before, generally come together in 10-15 minute chunks over the course of a month during work breaks (which should account for any discontinuity in writing style, should any of my high school or college writing instructors be reading this right now). Reading happens for about 15 minutes in the evenings before bed, but I also like to listen to audiobooks or podcasts in the car.

And work is, well, work. I can't exactly give that up (technically, you can, some parents do, and that's awesome for them, but that's not me.)  I'm a salaried employee so my hours can fluctuate from week to week, and it really just depends on what's going on with my projects or if I have field work. But it's now a lot more important to me to be as efficient as possible so that I can leave work before 5pm to beat rush hour traffic and get to my kid's daycare around 5:30p, so he can get home before all the other kids go inside for dinner, so that he gets some outside play time with his friends.

And time with the Hubs...well, that's mostly us plopped on the couch watching DVR'd shows after the kiddo goes to bed. Or maybe we bust out a board game or deck of cards.  But we did recently take a kid-free vacation to the Dominican Republic while Lil' Man stayed with his grandparents.  It was an amazing trip, but 7 days was a little long to be away from our kiddo without being able to see or talk to him.

So, ultimately...we are making it work.  We are doing the best we can.  Life is different from before we had our kid.  Not better or worse...just different.  And we love our kid.  But it's an adjustment, with what feels like a constantly changing target.  We're doing a good job, and we're getting really good at this.

Adventures in Parenting: 18 Months In

Just...ignore the fact that I didn't do a 17 month post. See?  You didn't even notice until I said something.  Possibly because my 16 month post was so late.  It's been busy.  Y'all understand. I've been momming and stuff.

Weight: 28.1 lbs (75th percentile)

Height: 33.5 inches (<75% percentile)

Development: 
So this little guy is in LOOOOOOOOOVE with stairs.  He REALLY wants to master them. Both going up and down.  Which is awesome and a little terrifying at the same time.  He's figured out that if he holds our hand, he can go up while standing fairly well (so long as the steps aren't too tall). Or he can just crawl up them super fast. Going downstairs is a crap shoot.  He might turn around and "reverse crawl" down the stairs...or he may try to butt-scoot down them while not holding on to anything, which is terrifying.  OR, he may just get frustrated and cry until we pick him up.

At least if he falls, his head will be well cushioned...

He's also learned to kick a ball, which is awesome...because I accidentally lied to our doc at his 15 month visit and said that he could.  So now I feel better about myself. :)

HOUSTON, WE HAVE A FIRST WORD.  And it's not "mama" or "dada".  It's "Uh-Oh".  Thanks, kid.  Hoping that's not a sign he'll be as accident-prone as his mother.  This was quickly followed by "bah" (ball), "dah" (dog) and "ayyeeeee" (hi or bye, depending on context). He *will* say "mama" or "dada", but it takes some prodding. Depending on context, "dah" can also mean "door", and "bah" can mean "bird".  He also likes to say "ahhhh duh" (all done) in a sing-songy rhythm when he's ready to get out of his high chair.  

He's solid on 3 baby signs ("milk/want", "more", and "all done") in multiple contexts (i.e. "I'm all done with this bath, Mom" and "please quit changing my diaper"). He will nod or shake his head for "yes" and "no".  There's also been a lot more parroting of syllables--for example, at his 18 month appointment, he pointed at his pediatrician, so I said, "doctor".  To which he responded "da ta", much to his pediatrician's delight.

There are also times when we KNOW he's trying to tell us something, because he looks very serious, and repeats a certain bit of jibberish multiple times.  It has to be frustrating to speak a language that only you understand.

At his 18 month appointment, they went through the MChat questionnaire, which is designed to look for signs of autism. Thankfully, everything was negative.  Our little man is very social and loves to interact with everyone...including frogs in the backyard.

Eating:  He will actually get a little mad if I don't give him a utensil to eat with.  Granted--he may only use it half the time, and be holding it in one hand while shoveling food into his piehole with the other hand, but he has to HAVE it.  He also wants to take spoons/forks from me, instead of me feeding him. And we are getting a LOT better about not throwing our cup on the floor.

Second Haircut:
Auntie T came back into town in March from Ohio, so he was finally able to get another haircut.  Really a good thing, since his mop has started to develop its own concept of style (particularly if put to bed with wet hair).

(Before: Not from the wind.  That's just how he woke up.)

His first haircut back at Christmas went Easy-Breezy-Beautiful-Cover Boy.  But this one...not so smoothly.  Auntie T thinks her shears were a little dull and pulled his hair, which upset him.  He was already past due for a nap anyway, so that didn't help.  But we got through it, and now he's a proper handsome lil' dude.

Parenting:  I'm really grateful for my Hubs. I probably don't say that enough.  But we've got a pretty good routine down and it makes for a good flow.  Most mornings, I take Lil' Man to day care, so Daddy wakes him up & gets him ready for the day while I'm making/eating breakfast, then I'll feed the kiddo while Hubs finishes his morning routine.  An example evening routine goes like this:
6:00p - Mom makes dinner while Dad plays with kiddo
6:30-7p - Mom feeds kiddo, Dad cleans up kitchen & loads dishwasher
7:00p - Mom plays with kiddo while Dad pays bills/misc from computer, then he joins in the playtime when done.
7:30p - Mom gives kid bath & brushes teeth while Dad folds laundry & cleans up the toy explosion
8:00p - Dad puts kid in PJs & finishes bedtime routine while Mom puts laundry away
8:15p - Mom & Dad kick back with a beer on the couch and watch DVR'd TV shows.

It works pretty well for us, and I'm glad to have a partner in this whole parenting/adulting thing.

Adventures in Parenting: "Don't You Want Another?"

Disclaimer: This post may come off a little ranty. I'm not apologizing--just giving you fair warning.  Here's an adorable old photo of our kid to make up for it.

It seems like no sooner was Lil' Man on the outside of my body instead of inside that the questions/demands started.  They vary slightly, but the same underlying base is there.

"So when are you going to have another?"

"He needs a sibling!"

"When does he get a little sister?"

"You're getting rid of your baby stuff?  Why aren't you saving it for the next one?"

"Don't you want another?"

There are some instances when this last question is appropriate.  Do you want another glass of wine?  Yes please.  Do you want another cupcake?  Sure.  Do I want an extra day off from work?  Definitely.  Do I want another layer because it's cold outside?  Good idea.

But the answer to whether we want another kid is not so simple.  Technically, the answer to any of those questions is not simple.  First off--I'm not psychic.  Even if I was pregnant RIGHT NOW (which I'm not), I wouldn't know the answer to "when" that baby will be born. Or whether it would be a boy or a girl. Or, whether my body would actually carry it all the way to its birthday.  Because that's a heartbreaking reality that happens to hopeful parents every day (approximately 2500 times a day in the U.S).  OR--let's say we were actually TRYING to get pregnant (again, we're not), but it wasn't happening.  That's what happened with Lil' Man--it took almost 2 years of trying to get our miracle baby. Every time someone asked us "when we were going to have a kid", it was like they'd just stabbed me in my seemingly dysfunctional reproductive system.  It's a simple question that stirs up too many sensitive possibilities.   So let's just all agree to stop asking "when". Mmmkay?

Back to the title of this post.  "Don't you WANT another?"  For some couples, I'm sure this is an easy answer: "Yes, we do" or "Nope, I'm good with one."

We are not one of those couples.

First--let's address the inadequacies of the question itself.  There is no "you".  Baby-making is a two-person job.  One partner can want another baby all day long--but if both parties aren't on board, that baby ain't happening (except through potentially nefarious means, which is definitely NOT a healthy relationship goal).  So... "do WE want another?"

There is no short answer to this question for us.  If I'm dealing with someone that I don't want to get too deep into a conversation with, we'll just smile and laugh.  Or possibly joke, "not until I forget how rough those first few months are!"

P.U.R.P.L.E. crying.

Because we haven't forgotten.  Yes, our lil' guy now sleeps through the night most of the time, but those hazy, crazy, sleep-deprived days of the first year are still very fresh in our memories.  Everyone says "you'll forget eventually.  There's some sort of amnesia that happens."  Well, it hasn't happened yet. I JUST started getting to sleep through the night again (most nights). 

So. Tired.

I'm JUST getting back to a point where I can focus at work when I'm at work and not worry about my kiddo.  And I'm ENJOYING that.  That first year was pandemonium--why would you purposefully rush back into that?  Yes, babies are cute and tiny and adorable and smell like heaven and are so much lighter to pick up...but they don't give me any of those ovarian gut-punches. I will gladly hold your wee one for you while he snoozes peacefully in my arms, in exchange for you following my toddler around and making sure he doesn't fall down the stairs, eat a crayon, or throw the remote in the dog's water bowl.

Had you asked me before I had my son, I would have said, "yup, two kids.  That's the goal."  Because I was an only child, and I hated it.  I had no one to share chores with, no one to blame things on, no one to have fights with, but also no one to be my first and forever best friend.  With that personal experience in my life, I don't want my kid to have the same sense of missing out.  But does it have to mean a birth-sibling?  Maybe fostering or adoption is in our future.  Or maybe he becomes extra close to his cousins and school friends, like I did, and "adopts" siblings of his own.

With my "adopted" sister (actually cousin, but we lived down the street from each other and both wanted a sister, so we just started calling each other "sister" when we were kids).

Then there's logistics:  Right now, it's pretty easy for the three of us to pack up and go somewhere.  Restaurants, the park, weekend trip to Grandma's, whatever.  And there's two of us to keep an eye on him.  You start upping that ratio, and things seem to get zany.  I see our friends with young multiples, and sometimes it just seems like pure chaos.  If Lil' Man gets sick, we can take turns staying home from work, or back each other up when things get rough (read: when he barfs and has the butt-squirts all at the same time at 2am).  If he throws a tantrum or has a really fussy night, we can give each other a break when the other starts to hit their Toddler Screaming Wall.  But if you've got two (or more) kids?  Seems like a free-for-all, divide and conquer type scenario.

Also in the Logistics Department, Let's lay out some True Facts:
- I am currently about 37 years old.
- My husband and I will qualify for senior citizen discounts when our son graduates high school.
- The projected cost of a 4-year degree at a public college for a kid enrolling in 2033 is almost $100,000.
- The risks of having a child with a chromosomal abnormality, or other birth defect, increase progressively as the age of the mother increases, with the chances being around 1 in 200 at age 38 (it was 1 in 350 when I had Lil' Man at age 35).
- Risks to the mom also increase, such as miscarriage, premature delivery, need for C-section, gestational diabetes, high blood pressure, preeclampsia, and just general lack of being able to keep up with a young kid. Mom's got bad knees, son--so no, we can't go up and down the stairs 20 times just because you think it's super-fun.

So...when do the risks outweigh the reward?  Or would it simply be safer/easier to adopt/foster a child who's already a little older (bypassing that whole horrible first year)?  That process, of course, comes with its own set of risks and challenges, both physical and emotional.  Are we up for it?  We really don't know yet.  At this point, we struggle to figure out who will stay home if our one child is sick.  If we had two?  It's a different environment altogether.

All this to say:  We really just don't know.  Life isn't that simple.  Maybe it is for some people, but it isn't for us.

Our little family unit.